New book, same look.

I've decided to make a book compiled from the "milestone" of reaching 30.  Physically, I know, we all know, our prime is gone, but mentally I feel as though I'm starting to peak and I'm able to have a more direct thought pattern that for once isn't lost in post college real world bullshit.

It's going to be a fictional tale about 30-somethings that have refused to grow up in a world where youth is still king.  Be it the characters have children, have high paying jobs, live with parents, etc., I want it to speak about the times and conditions people are facing now that we are past our twenties and into the times when we're supposed to have responsibilities and raise our own families.

I'm calling it, The 30, same as the blog.  I'll probably have more than a few New Order inspired lyrics to through in there since it the band has had such a positive effect on my writings lately.

Early Midlife Crisis?

To say things have changed in my life in the last 3 months would be an understatement.  For the first time in my life, I feel like I'm in control of my destiny.  I don't know what it was that shook me out of this depression, but I can safely say I'm happy with "me" for once in my life.

Saying midlife crisis is a bit deceptive.  Hitting my 30s woke me up.  I was faced with a plethora of questions that I believed I would've found the answers to by now:

Am I ever going to love someone?

Will I find my "dream job"?

Who am I?

Am I on the road to meeting my goals?

Then I realized, you have to enjoy the ride.  Life is too short to worry.  I can't sit there and blame my environment for how I ended up.  I had to look at myself and realize what I needed to do most in the world is love who am, believe in myself, be passionate . . . everything will fall into place afterwards.

It already has and I've felt my quality of life has already improved, even if people around me try to break that down and complain about how we're heading down a Road to Ruin.  Yes!  Being happy helps fuel my creativity.  Forget that stereotypical depressed artist (Ian Curtis) who's near suicide writing about his feelings and the unjust world around him.  Yes, forget it!  Make you're own world and people will sooner or later abide by it's design.

I might be crazy.  There's nothing more dangerous than knowing what you want.