To say things have changed in my life in the last 3 months would be an understatement. For the first time in my life, I feel like I'm in control of my destiny. I don't know what it was that shook me out of this depression, but I can safely say I'm happy with "me" for once in my life.
Saying midlife crisis is a bit deceptive. Hitting my 30s woke me up. I was faced with a plethora of questions that I believed I would've found the answers to by now:
Am I ever going to love someone?
Will I find my "dream job"?
Who am I?
Am I on the road to meeting my goals?
Then I realized, you have to enjoy the ride. Life is too short to worry. I can't sit there and blame my environment for how I ended up. I had to look at myself and realize what I needed to do most in the world is love who am, believe in myself, be passionate . . . everything will fall into place afterwards.
It already has and I've felt my quality of life has already improved, even if people around me try to break that down and complain about how we're heading down a Road to Ruin. Yes! Being happy helps fuel my creativity. Forget that stereotypical depressed artist (Ian Curtis) who's near suicide writing about his feelings and the unjust world around him. Yes, forget it! Make you're own world and people will sooner or later abide by it's design.
I might be crazy. There's nothing more dangerous than knowing what you want.
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