I had this epiphany the other day. When you date someone, you're engaging in a test to see if she validates you and you validate her. Whether we want to admit it or not, what we look for in a person is someone who is a reflection of ourselves. On some level, there have to be similarities. Sometimes unconsciously we draw what we know of someone and project their image back to them.
All this came to me as I feel I'm more comfortable dating now that I've ever been in my life. I remember nervously thinking I was going to mess things up or feeling I wasn't good enough for a person when I previously dated someone I was interested in. When I projected that back at a woman, I would say 99.9% of the time a connection wouldn't happen.
I also came up with a theory about never finding perfect. I believe we're always looking for someone that embodies all those traits which we deem are for the perfect mate. Whether it's qualities we have or qualities we strive to have, we endless drift from one person to the next hoping that those things click for us. I'm not about finding perfect, I'm about making a connection with someone and finding passion and emotional release in someone that can be as intense as I can. To do this, you have to realize that people can connect on more than just words or ideas, sometimes emotion and body language can play a big part.
1 comment:
You know connecting with people is about understanding yourself. You have to know what your strengths and weaknesses are and be willing ready and able to share. We all have to have confidence in who we are. All too often I meet people that are looking for a mate to make them whole. I'm of the mind that one has to be whole first before they can share themselves with others and truly connect. That's as deep as I get. Keep up the good work. I love reading your stuff.
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