If time is my vessel, then learning to love might be my way back to sea . . .

Random thoughts . . . 

I have a lot on my mind.  I figured this wouldn't be your typical blogpost by me.  

Something I haven't really been doing lately is finding balance.  Seems I've been focusing too much on the social aspects of my life and less on other things that I need equally.

Let's summarize, shall we?  

I got into an accident two weeks ago and I still don't have a car.

• It keeps snowing.
  
• I have a Dodge Caliber as a rental . . . :(
  
• I miss my car.  Although it seemed to attract women in minivans (soccer moms), it was a hell of lot more spacious and I have somewhat of an attachment to it.  Granted, if I was given an Acura, I'd soon forget about it.
  

I will be out of a job in 3 weeks.

• My uncle is coming back to work and they want to cut my ENORMOUS paycheck out of the mix (please don't tell me that I have to point at the sarcasm in that sentence.)
  
• I have to look for a job in a city where job growth is nonexistent.  I'm just looking for a job after all, it could be Starbucks, Applebees, the local watering hole down the street, etc.
  

I need to work on making the best resume ever.

• Am I leaving Michigan again?
  
• NYC sounds like a good plan again.
  
• Kitty is a sweetheart, I hope she's my neighbor if I move to NYC.
  
• Maybe I should look into that South Korean job, but do I really want to spend a year in a foreign country only to come back to a country that I still have no footing in?
  

I need to put working out on hold for now.

• Funny how lack of job security can make you think twice about things.
  
• Who said I need a body to make me more attractive?  NO ONE.  I just want to be at peak physical condition, that and I can feel my hunger of old returning.  I was hoping my "diet" was more of a lifestyle change, and in a lot of ways it has changed the way I eat, but I'm scared if I bump my caloric intake, my weight will go back to the 180 range.

Conclusion:

I have to react different to this situation than I have in the past.  I'm not going to crumble and let the weight of the world come crashing down.  I have to remind myself I've come a long way and "burying" the old me was a good thing.  I haven't really changed.  I told someone the other day that this "new" (I hate using that term) me is more of an extension of my personality made mostly of what I repressed all those times.

There's nothing wrong with ego.  There's nothing wrong with being confident.  I'm damn smart and capable of so much more.  When I started to believe in that, things changed for me and life continues to give what I put into it.  I'm looking at this in a positive way.  I have another chance to "take over" the world.  Shifting my perspective was only one step, my next step is to apply what I've learned.

Somewhere inside, the old me is clawing to come back.  The person who took the easy way out.  Nothing in life is easy.  I try to deny to myself that I have a hole to fill, but it's more about making your life complete.  

I strive to find balance in life.  Come full circle.   I hope I didn't babble.  I'm not even going to proof read this.

Enjoy!